Come on, Rogue.

Unlike your more overt rogue-types, like a certain former presidential ticket to be named later, I’ve always considered myself an undercover rogue. My civil disobedience tends towards the somewhat pedestrian–driving slowly in the left lane, returning library books a day late, that sort of thing. But I want to be a real rogue: the kind who considers veni, vidi, vici an understatement. That’s why Werner Herzog’s Rogue Film School caught my eye. Sure I can barely find the power button on a digital camera, have no facility with Final Cut Pro, and likely couldn’t direct a flock of pigeons to a breadcrumb factory. But I’m certainly intrigued by the thought of being cooped up in a room with the same guy who went head-to-head with an immensely imbalanced and homicidal Klaus Kinski on the set, and even listened to the live tapes of Timothy Treadwell’s gruesome demise.

I’ve gleaned a few interesting particulars from the program’s website:

• Prior working experience, diplomas, credits are of minor importance. {Sigh of relief}
• At the end of the seminar, each participant will receive a certificate of participation and a signed copy of Werner Herzog’s “Conquest of the Useless“. {This certificate must be catnip to maladjusted ladies}
• The fee for a long weekend (Friday evening, all day Saturday and Sunday) is US $1450 {assuming 8 hour days, that’s only $1/minute. I spend more than that to get my hair cut by someone who never even ate a shoe!}
• Depending on the materials, the attention will revolve around essential questions [such as]: How do you narrate a story? (This will certainly depart from the brainless teachings of three-act-screenplays). {Haven’t we all had enough of the brainless teachings of three-act-screenplays?}
• Related, but more practical subjects, will be the art of lockpicking. Traveling on foot. The exhilaration of being shot at unsuccessfully. The athletic side of filmmaking. The creation of your own shooting permits. The neutralization of bureaucracy. Guerrilla tactics. Self reliance. {My check’s in the mail.}

If you’re unfamiliar with Mr. Herzog, may I suggest watching the documentary My Best Fiend before signing on for a 3-day seminar. It’s best to go into something like this fully informed.

My Best Fiend: Trailer

Werner Herzog|MySpace Videos