‘Tis the Season…

With National Boss Day (for non-observers, this is October 16th) in our wake and Halloween and Thanksgiving just around the corner, ’tis the season for raking leaves, carving pumpkins, and picking apples. Or, as McSweeney’s writer Colin Nissan writes, “It’s decorative gourd season, motherf*ckers.”

Andy Samberg meets Robert Frost in Nissan’s unconventional and brilliant ode to the harvest. My favorite stanza?

“I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some f*cking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That sh*t is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, a$sh*les. Guess what season it is—f*cking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant f*cking squash.”