Suzy Hotrod, You’re my Hero

The Queens of Pain embrace after their big win.

Where can you find women clad in mouth guards, fishnets and war paint – with names like Bitch Cassidy and Puss ‘n Glutes?  Hunter College’s sold out roller derby.  These tattooed women gave everything they had in this fast-paced, in-your-face sport.  And the Queens of Pain dominated the Brooklyn Bombshells. 

The Gotham Girls' logo.

The two teams are part of the Gotham Girls Roller Derby league, which represent Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, and the Bronx.   The non-profit league formed in 2003 and has been selling out venues at local colleges and universities ever since.

Here’s how it works: there’s a pack of eight skaters (four from each team) and two “Jammers” (one from each team) that start out 30 feet behind.  The Jammers, who wear stars on their helmets, try to break through the pack, earning one point for each skater they pass.  Other skaters are not technically allowed to push, shove, and trip, but all of the aforementioned and more go on regardless.  Oh, and audacious nicknames are required.  Names included Megahurtz, Haulin Cass, and OMG WTF.

The women are not paid for their aggressive pastime and lead normal, day-to-day lives when they’re not practicing 10 to 12 hours a week.  The league boasts of having designers, a few lawyers, teachers, an astronomer, a private investigator, a pastry cook and more.

Cheerleaders at the half-time show.

On Saturday the eclectic crowd – which included punks with piercings to families with kids, and even an elderly woman or two – lined up all the way around the block to see the skating. “What’s going on around here?” bewildered onlookers asked.  Some waited for up to two hours.

Once the bought finally got going, one skater, the Captain of the Queens of Pain, really stood out.  Tall, muscular, and tattooed, Suzy Hotrod made everyone’s head spin, often earning over 20 points a jam.  The crowd went wild each time she beat the pack.

The Brooklyn Bombshells' mascot whizzing by.

Both teams’ cheerleaders kept the crowd going – the Brooklyn Bombshells’ nautical girls and the Queens’ dominatrix-esque French maids.  Both teams also had elaborate mascots – the Bombshells had a man in a large boat to go with the nautical theme and the Queens had a leather-masked dude holding signs like: “Scream for Queens,” “Submit,” and “I Been Bad.”

The final score was 120-something to 80-something, with the Bombshells gaining momentum in the end.  Can’t wait til August 7^th, when the Queens of Pain take on the Bronx Gridlocks.