Forget owling.

Now there’s Tebowing.

It’s an homage to former Heisman trophy winner quarterback at the University of Florida and starting QB at the Denver Broncos, Tim Tebow.

According the the website, Tebowing.com, the act is defined as: to get down on a knee and start praying, even if everyone around you is doing something completely different. You can see more user-submitted photos on their site.

Tebow is well-known for his Christian beliefs. His book THROUGH MY EYES was a New York Times bestseller.

While you were probably watching House Hunters International, at soccer bar Jack Dempsey’s in midtown Manhattan, pandemonium ensued:

Dempsey Goal! from Brittany Hamblin on Vimeo.

The big win means the US clinches a spot in the CONCACAF Gold Cup finals against perennial rival Mexico. It’s going to be an amazing game—Saturday June 25^th at 9 p.m.—but my guess is you’re probably going to be watching So You Think You Can Dance reruns on your DVR.

Not to sound bitter, but every four years after the glitz of the World Cup fades, American’s pack away their foam fingers and vuvuzelas and forget that the national soccer team exists. But there is so much to cheer for! Sporting heroes with heart, determination, character, and amazing abs. Here are my favorites—just a little reminder of who you’ll be missing if you choose poorly on Saturday night (read: watch reruns of Two and a Half Men):

Bocanegra with Bill Clinton

Carlos Bocanegra

Sign: Gemini
Position: Center back
Skills: 8/10
What buying his replica jersey says about you: I was captain of my high school [soccer, lacrosse, hockey, broomball, curling] team.
Fun Fact: He tweets (@BocaBoca3) and is team captain.

Tim Howard

Sign: Pisces
Position: Goalie
Skills: 10/10
What buying his replica jersey says about you: I’m a little scary–don’t touch me. I said don’t touch me!
Fun Fact: Tim was diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome in middle school and a large visible pulsing vein in his forehead. He has two children and plays for the UK club team Everton (go Toffees).

Juan Agudelo

Sign: Sagittarius
Position: Center forward
Skills: 7/10
What buying his replica  jersey says about you: Landon who? You’re a forward thinker.
Fun Fact: This kid was born in 1992. Yes 1992, the same year as Miley Cyrus. There are also no shirtless photos of him available online. (He’s a child, sicko).

Clint Demsey

Sign: Pisces
Position: Attacking Midfield
Skills: 9/10
What buying his replica jersey says about you: I’m mainstream but unpredictable. I have turntables and a 401K.
Fun Fact: Clint was born in Nacogdoches,TX. He also raps, as Deuce. Nike even paid for a video. Don’t Tread baby.

See you on Saturday!

On the women’s side, some of the big names are back. After a prolonged injury break, Serena Williams is back at the All-England Club. Maria Sharapova, the 2004 Wimbledon Champion, has been playing some of her best post-shoulder-injury tennis recently. Na Li, the Chinese star fresh off her French Open win and Austrailian Open trip to the finals, has had an incredible 2011 season and is looking to continue it at Wimbledon. Caroline Wozniacki is looking to silence her critics and win a Grand Slam, after several disappointing performances the past Grand Slam tournaments.

Can’t make it to London? New York City’s Rockefeller Plaza will be celebrating the famed grass tennis tournament with free strawberries and cream, a Wimbledon staple, this Monday through Friday as part of the HSBC-sponsored Wimbledon event. Live Wimbledon screenings will be held in the plaza as well as a temporary grass court they put out, where tennis greats Monica Seles and Jim Courier will occasionally play against fans.

My brothers and I have been New York Jets fan our whole lives, and, as any fan of a team with a history of underachieving can attest to, we are a world weary lot. Under Coach Rex Ryan’s watch, there is a different feeling, a sense of purpose and confidence that have been missing for years, if not decades. Which is great. But it doesn’t make losing the AFC Championship game any easier to take.

My older brothers remember the sole Jets Super Bowl victory in 1969 but I was a mere toddler. They have that hazy, golden memory to cling to. And with the Jets on the verge of beating the Colts and the Patriots, there was a hope that this would finally be the year after more than forty of them spent in frustration. It would happen and life would be good, our support for this long embattled green and white team finally justified. We were right for believing! Right for putting our hearts out there!

During the AFC Championship game, we—family and friends gathered around—all shouted J-E-T-S, Jets! Jets! Jets! after a touchdown or an interception or a big catch. I would look at my kids as we watched. They would leap up  to celebrate the huge plays and groan with the failures. Too young to be cynical and hard bitten, they watched and cheered without reservation, willing the Hollywood ending to happen. The Jets were down 24-0 but we would find a way to come back, we had to. My brothers and I measured our enthusiasm, though, even in the thrilling fourth quarter. We’d been here before. C’mon, these are the freaking Jets! We were excited yes, but there was that fear that it would fall apart. Would we be champions or the birthday boy whose cake is dropped or the bridesmaid who looks on as yet another friend gets married?  

When the game was over and everybody left, the kids got ready for bed. My nine and ten year old boys were unspeakably sad. They refused to take off their Darrelle Revis and Mark Sanchez jerseys, so I shrugged it off and said it was fine. As I tucked them in, I kissed them good night and it was then I noticed that they were crying. They were failed, in their minds, by a team they believed in, and, unbelievably, there was no happy ending. They lost. Period. The road to the Super Bowl ended in a collision with a black and gold eighteen wheeler. I told them things I’d heard a million times before but had a hard time believing any more: “Being one game away from the Super Bowl is pretty special.” “We’ll come back and get ‘em next year.” “They never gave up and we can’t either.”

As I lay in bed thinking about my sons, it struck me that they were heartbroken. It seems silly, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s just a game. But, you know, while everyone talks about the importance of playing sports, how it teaches you team work, keeps you fit, makes you competitive, etc., maybe there is some value to being a fan and a spectator. Yes, my boys play their soccer and their baseball and their football, and they’ve known “the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.” This other thing, though, this rooting for a team, for a cause that involves your family, friends and neighbors, it can inspire as much involvement and devotion.

The other edge of that sword is losing, and coping with it. This feeling they have is maybe hardening them, preparing them in a small way for the bigger disappointments in life. I hope the worst thing that happens to them is they mourn their favorite football team’s loss. Better that then a girl who breaks up with you or a friend who betrays you or a being excluded from some group of “cool” kids. They should be so lucky to avoid such things.

Life happens, though, and when they woke up the morning after and put their jerseys in the laundry basket, they seemed a little older, a little more experienced… and a little more ready to move on. The jerseys will be washed of all the stains and bad memories, folded and put away. My sons will pull them on again next September with a renewed sense of hope, because in the end maybe that’s all we have.

THE WORLD CHAMPION gives out his phone number so that he can teach people karate.

Volume two of the Show Me How series contains brand-new instructions that show readers how to amaze, trick, create, style, and love, among other endeavors. Ideas range from the practical (hang a ceiling fixture; hem a pair of pants) to the outrageous (boobytrap a bathroom; forge an antiquity) to the romantic (ace a school crush; send a saucy cell phone pic).

Each month we’ll be bringing you a sample of one of the 400+ instructional illustrations from the book. This month, in honor of playoff baseball, we offer you a chance to develop your own wicked curveball.

“This book is a gold mind…If I could only pack two books to take with me on a deserted island, this one would be at the top of that list.”

–Amy Sedaris

Learn more about the book here.

The Queens of Pain embrace after their big win.

Where can you find women clad in mouth guards, fishnets and war paint – with names like Bitch Cassidy and Puss ‘n Glutes?  Hunter College’s sold out roller derby.  These tattooed women gave everything they had in this fast-paced, in-your-face sport.  And the Queens of Pain dominated the Brooklyn Bombshells. 

The Gotham Girls' logo.

The two teams are part of the Gotham Girls Roller Derby league, which represent Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, and the Bronx.   The non-profit league formed in 2003 and has been selling out venues at local colleges and universities ever since.

Here’s how it works: there’s a pack of eight skaters (four from each team) and two “Jammers” (one from each team) that start out 30 feet behind.  The Jammers, who wear stars on their helmets, try to break through the pack, earning one point for each skater they pass.  Other skaters are not technically allowed to push, shove, and trip, but all of the aforementioned and more go on regardless.  Oh, and audacious nicknames are required.  Names included Megahurtz, Haulin Cass, and OMG WTF.

The women are not paid for their aggressive pastime and lead normal, day-to-day lives when they’re not practicing 10 to 12 hours a week.  The league boasts of having designers, a few lawyers, teachers, an astronomer, a private investigator, a pastry cook and more.

Cheerleaders at the half-time show.

On Saturday the eclectic crowd – which included punks with piercings to families with kids, and even an elderly woman or two – lined up all the way around the block to see the skating. “What’s going on around here?” bewildered onlookers asked.  Some waited for up to two hours.

Once the bought finally got going, one skater, the Captain of the Queens of Pain, really stood out.  Tall, muscular, and tattooed, Suzy Hotrod made everyone’s head spin, often earning over 20 points a jam.  The crowd went wild each time she beat the pack.

The Brooklyn Bombshells' mascot whizzing by.

Both teams’ cheerleaders kept the crowd going – the Brooklyn Bombshells’ nautical girls and the Queens’ dominatrix-esque French maids.  Both teams also had elaborate mascots – the Bombshells had a man in a large boat to go with the nautical theme and the Queens had a leather-masked dude holding signs like: “Scream for Queens,” “Submit,” and “I Been Bad.”

The final score was 120-something to 80-something, with the Bombshells gaining momentum in the end.  Can’t wait til August 7^th, when the Queens of Pain take on the Bronx Gridlocks.

But when this World Cup thing began to get popular, I started to enjoy hanging out with friends and catching a World Cup game every so often, and then more and more frequently. I’m the friend that nods her heads at what looks like good moves, tries to gasp at the appropriate moments and cheers when everyone else starts to, but I have fun watching the games. (Especially since, unlike football which can continue for up to four hours, you can count on a soccer game to be over at almost exactly 90 minutes).

For the final World Cup match though, I want my friends to see how much I’ve learned about soccer these last few weeks, and I really want them to be impressed with my knowledge of the Spain vs. Netherlands final (this Sunday at 2:30 p.m.).

How cool would it be if I could say in casual conversation, “Yeah, Spain is totally going to beat the Netherlands this Sunday, no question” or “I really think the Netherlands might pull it out” and have full confidence in my statements?

I decided to turn to the experts for advice.

Meet Paul the Psychic Octopus

Paul picks Spain to win the World Cup.

Paul the Octopus has predicted that the winner of the World Cup this weekend will be Spain.

Paul the Octopus rose to fame because of the fact that so far he has correctly predicted the results of all of Germany’s games at the World Cup. (Paul has also predicted that Germany will defeat Uruguay in the World Cup’s third-place play-off on Saturday).

Paul chooses a winner by choosing from two glass boxes that each contain a mussel inside and the flag of a different country on the outside.

So far, the chances of Paul correctly predicting Germany’s results are 1 in 64. Sounds legit to me.

Meet Mani the Psychic Parakeet

Mani chooses the Netherlands to win the World Cup.

Mani the Psychic Parakeet from Singapore has predicted that the Netherlands will win in the World Cup final.

Mani became a local celebrity when M Muniyappan, Mani’s owner, said Mani correctly predicted the World Cup’s four quarter-final games and Spain’s semi-final victory over Germany.

Mani chooses winners by picking between two white cards. Each card has the flag from one of the two competing countries on the reverse side.

Mani’s steady job is predicting the future at a table in front of a restaurant in Singapore and this is his first foray into sports competitions. The phrase “a little birdie told me” has just taken on a new meaning.

Since not even the psychic animals can agree on who is going to win, I probably won’t be able to impress my friends with my knowledge of who is going to win the World Cup, but that can’t stop me from pretending I know what’s going on or from enjoying the game with my friends.

And either way it should be a good game. After all, neither Spain nor the Netherlands have ever won a World Cup game before so emotions will be running high this weekend (yeah, I totally just Googled that).

That impatient, winner-takes-all attitude, coupled with the dismal state of the New York Knicks basketball team over the past several decades, has created a dangerous confluence of circumstances this summer. In case you haven’t heard, LeBron James is a free agent, and Knicks fans have set their sites on seeing him in the blue-and-orange this fall. In what some (okay, yours truly) would call an unseemly move for such a distinguished city, the mayor’s office has even started a online campaign devoted to luring LBJ to the Big Apple. Regular fans, and prominent locals like Matt Lauer and Mario Batali have put on the full court press (for lack of a worse basketball metaphor) to lure King James to our fair city.

I think when you’ve got Central Park, Lincoln Center, Per Se, the Brooklyn Bridge, Yankee Stadium and, let’s face it, Scores, all within a few square miles of each other, you should let the city’s unrivaled amenities speak for themselves. If Lebron wants to live the high life, he knows where to find it. In fact, as a displaced Milwaukee Bucks fan, I don’t even have a horse in this race. But to tell you the truth, I’m pulling for the Brooklyn Nets to land the big fish. What could be better than LeBron, Jay-Z and a ballsy Russian billionaire teaming up to build a new empire across the East River?

Still, this is New York, and we take whatever we want, right? Spoils go to the victor and all that. So while we’re at it, why stop at LeBron? Here are a few other people (and things) we could use to help cement the city at the top of the ranks:

Chef Ferran Adria outside El Bulli restaurant

Ferran Adria is considered by most authorities to be the greatest chef of his generation. He’s already announced plans to close his landmark Spanish restaurant, El Bulli, so it’s time to try his hand in a new locale. We already have Batali, Vongerichten, White, Bouley and Dufresne. We want Adria! I’m sure Jeffrey Chodorow will be closing some ill-advised concept restaurant in the next few months so Ferran can scoop in and grab a good deal on a lease.

The Mighty Mississip

The East River and the Hudson are fine, if you like puny, also-ran bodies of water. Let’s move the Mississippi eastward. A city like New York deserves the majesty of Old Man River. Bonus: we’d definitely dominate the “best ____ east of the Mississippi” honor in every category henceforth.

I don't even exist

Unicorns should run free in Central Park. What’s that you say? They’re mythical creatures? Need I remind you that this is NEW YORK CITY? Donald Trump lives here. We can have whatever we want, damn it!

La Cage!

We want Nic Cage to be here 24/7. No more hanging out on his indoor motorcycle in Beverly Hills or in his Bavarian Castle. I want full time access to Nic Cage in Gotham. Make it happen!

]]> http://youritlist.com/2010/07/we-want-lebron-and-everything-else/feed/ 0