Happy 90210 Day to All!
Today is a very special day in the world of ‘90s television — 90210 Day! Get it? September 2, 2010. 090210! So let’s revisit the hallowed halls of West Beverly High and the well-worn booths of the Peach Pit with a look back at some of our favorite memories:
Once a Bimbo: When Brenda catches her on-again off-again brooding boytoy Dylan kissing blonde bombshell Kelly, she says: “If you are trying to lose your bimbo image, I honestly don’t think this will help.”
French Faux-Pas: While spending the summer in Paris, Brenda tries to snag hottie Dean Cain by pretending to be French. When he comes to LA and looks her up, she keeps the charade up until she arrives at the Peach Pit and finally gives it up when she is faced with pr
The Dark Side of Diet Pills: Kelly’s experimentation with over-the-counter diet pills lands her in the hospital. Best pal and occasional nemesis Brenda comes for a visit. Kelly looks up from the hospital bed and says: “I’m gonna live so you can’t have Dylan back.”
Dylan’s Dad: One of the most emotional and gut-wrenching moments of the entire series is when Dylan’s father Jack, a convicted felon just released from prison, is killed by a car bomb. Dylan is standing nearby and witnesses the explosion, which sends him on yet another downward spiral.
Funny Valentine: Bad girl Emily Valentine tries to take upstanding citizen Brendan Walsh down with her at an underground club one night by slipping a hallucinogenic drug in his drink. The police raid the club and Brandon is forced to flee and leave his prized car to get torn apart. The tagline for the episode when it originally aired: “Tonight, Brendan finds out about drugs and Emily… the hard way.”
David Silver Saves the Day: Oh-so vulnerable Donna is attacked by previously-convicted stalker Garret Slan. Earlier, she and boyfriend David Silver had been arguing, so he came back to the apartment to apologize. Donna tells him to leave but she keeps calling him “Dave” rather than “David.” This miraculously tips him off that something is amiss and he storms back into the apartment with a baseball bat, saving Donna.
THE UNANONYMOUS #1 MOMENT… Notorious good girl Donna has a few sips of champagne on an empty stomach (trust me, if you saw her in the mid-90s it was very empty). She gets caught and isn’t allowed to graduate with the rest of her class. Her friends and the entire student body gather outside her school board hearing in solidarity. A chant grows among the protesters, softer and first, then louder and louder, until these three words were heard across all of Beverly Hills: DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!
What are your favorite moments from 90210?
Writing with a Real Clown
We asked Thomas Scott McKenzie, co-author of the just-released THE MAN BEHIND THE NOSE by Larry “Bozo” Harmon, what it was like to work side-by-side with the legendary entertainer. McKenzie, unsurprisingly, had some amusing tales from his collaboration with the late Harmon.
I got a call from a writer friend.
“I’ve just heard the most amazing, most outrageous story ever,” he said. “This tops anything an interview subject has told me.”
My buddy built a career on writing about notorious rock stars and porn performers. All of his subjects were self-admitted drug abusers of legendary proportions. And this tale topped them all? What kind of degenerate, axe-wielding, master of mayhem was he going to tell me about?
“I have three words for you: Bozo. The. Clown.”
And with that began my time in the big top universe of the world’s most famous clown and Larry Harmon, the driving force behind the icon.
At first, I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. As a country boy who grew up in the boonies, I was lucky to see any television at all, and that was if the weather was just right and you delicately grasped the antennae at a precarious angle. So I didn’t watch The Bozo Show during my childhood years. I remember seeing the WGN version of the show broadcast on their nationwide superstation when I would visit relatives lucky enough to have cable television. But I didn’t know much more about him than the obvious characteristics of a big red wig, big floppy shoes, and so forth.
In spite of my ignorance of the character, there was never any doubt in my mind that I wanted to co-author Larry Harmon’s book. Bozo is as pure a piece of Americana as baseball or apple pie or hot dogs on the Fourth of July. Any writer would be thrilled at such an opportunity.
In real life, Larry was as you might expect the world’s most famous clown to be: funny, amusing, and full of energy. But there were surprises. For example, he was intensely detail-oriented. On one version of the manuscript, I formatted some text to appear in red font.
“That’s the wrong shade of red,” he said. “It needs to be deeper, and yet more bright.” (more…)
Jimmy Fallon’s Emmy Night
Last night, late night host and comedian Jimmy Fallon brought much-needed energy and light-hearted wacky skits to The 62nd Emmy Awards. He took good-natured jabs at just about everyone, including an early swing at Conan. Fallon brought an SNL sensibility to the evening, using an acoustic guitar and vocal accompaniments by audience members including Amy Poehler and Kim Kardashian.
If Fallon had any insecurity about hosting, he certainly made it impossible for viewers to resist his opening sketch. The musical number featured all of America’s favorites rolled into one: Glee, Springsteen, Tina Fey, Betty White. What could be better?
Joined by Glee actors Chris Colfer, Lea Michele, Cory Monteith and Amber Riley, Fallon bounded through the intro sketch building a glee club ensemble that featured Tina Fey, Joel McHale, Jane Lynch, and Jon Hamm, and which included hilarious cameos by Kate Gosselin, Betty White, and Tim Gunn. The new all-star group then performed Bruce Springsteen’s “Born To Run” live on the stage where Randy Jackson accompanied them on guitar. What an opener!
Like any young host (and as opposed to Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin’s veteran ease while hosting the Oscars earlier this year), Fallon had his moments of uncertainty and a few failed one liners. But his high-energy and fast paced evening kept it all entertaining, fun, and most importantly moving. Though, according to USA Today, “The entire evening felt uncomfortably rushed and flustered…” Fallon may be guilty of rushing the tempo, but it kept me engaged during that very long third hour – the HBO hour where the network saw wins for Temple Grandin (Claire Danes), the miniseries The Pacific, and You Don’t Know Jack (Al Pacino).
My favorite sketch was the musical farewell to three shows off the air this year: 24, Law & Order, and Lost. Dressed as Elton John, he delivered his own version of “Candle in the Wind” behind a pink grand piano in a bid to say goodbye to series “24″: “Goodbye 24/ Though I never watched you on TV/ I missed one episode/ Had to buy the DVDs.” Then, Fallon channeled Boyz II Men and adapted the lyrics of “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday” to salute Law & Order. Finally, Fallon, performing as Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong, brought out guitar and and a Billie Joe-style wig, to play ”Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” in tribute to Lost. “The island it was mythical, but in the end they died/ I didn’t understand it, but I tried.”
Though some of my favorite shows didn’t see the recognition they deserved (where were the Emmys for True Blood, The Good Wife, and Friday Night Lights?), the night was full of memorable and often hilarious moments.
What was your favorite Emmy moment?
Get Your Gleek On
Though Glee snagged only 2 of the 19 Emmys it was nominated for last night, a new clothing line based on the hit show will surely distract disappointed “Gleeksters”. Available exclusively at Macy’s, the line will feature tees and hoodies priced from $20-$35. Find it just in time for back to school shopping in the juniors section or online at Macys.com!
And if memorizing Glee songs and dances and donning clothes based on the show isn’t enough to satisfy your cravings, ShopGlee.com tracks down the exact make and model of the clothes worn on the show and features them alongside video clips of the characters wearing the items. For example, zip into the same track jackets worn by Sue Sylvester here, and pick up Will Schuester’s v-neck sweaters and collared shirts right here.
All this Glee talk makes me very excited for the Britney Spears episode airing in September! Which songs do you want them to sing???
All the news that’s fit to animate
When I received my first link to the Steven Slater CGI animation, a day after the new broke, I was impressed and intrigued by the quick turnaround time. Sure it wasn’t Pixar-worthy, but it wasn’t half bad, either. There was something satisfying about seeing a relatively realistic recreation of the working man’s Chesley Sullenberger grabbing two beers, dramatically exiting via the emergency slide, and arriving home to the loving arms of his shirtless boyfriend.
After sending the video to a few friends, it didn’t really cross my mind again until I opened the newest issue of Wired magazine. There, in substantial detail, was the story of Jimmy Lai–the tabloid king of China–and his newest venture: Next Media. The studio’s mission is to give us the thrill of video re-enactment when no live tape exists. Apparently I missed one of the studio’s first international hits, an unpolished rendering of the Tiger Woods car-crash incident. Since that rudimentary effort, however, Next Media has refined their skills, and the more recent offerings are quite sleek considering their less-than-24-hour turnaround time.
Here’s the video that launched Next Media onto the world stage: Tiger’s trials and tribulations:
Visit their official YouTube page for the full collection. May I recommend the hilarious Snookie vid, featuring a fantasy sequence of our favorite Jersey Shore cast member assaulting the the President over the tanning tax?
Meet Kat Von D
We are thrilled to announce the following appearances where Kat Von D will meet fans in conjunction with the release of her latest book The Tattoo Chronicles, on sale Tuesday, October 26, 2010.
If you’re unable to meet Kat on tour, pre-order your copy of The Tattoo Chronicles today.
Complete schedule after the jump.
(more…)
Special Offer: Judah Friedlander signed bookplate
On October 5, 2010, Judah Friedlander’s magnum opus: HOW TO BEAT UP ANYBODY: An Instructional and Inspirational Karate Book by The World Champion will finally be available wherever books are sold. Until then, you’ll have to use your own methods of self-preservation when confronted with assailants with 3 arms, subway gangs, ninjas, Bigfoots, and dinosaurs.
If you value your personal safety, you certainly won’t want to be the last chump on your block to get your hands on this indispensable manual. That’s why we’ve created this limited-time offer for anyone who pre-orders a copy of HOW TO BEAT UP ANYBODY.
Here’s how it works:
The first 1,000 people to email a copy of their pre-order confirmation for HOW TO BEAT UP ANYBODY from any U.S. based online retailer to Judah@HarperCollins.com will receive a free bookplate signed by The World Champion, Judah Friedlander.
Here are the two easy steps:
1.) Visit this link and place a pre-order of HOW TO BEAT UP ANYBODY from any of the listed online retailers, or any other U.S.-based online retailer of your choice.
2) Forward your book order confirmation email to Judah@HarperCollins.com by 12:00 pm (Eastern) November 5, 2010.
At the top of the email, include your full name, email address, phone number (for shipping purposes) and the mailing address to where the free signed bookplate should be shipped. The bookplate will be sent only to a valid United States mailing address. No bookplates will be shipped outside the United States. Offer valid only for orders placed before the official on-sale date of October 5, 2010.
To hold you over until you can get Judah’s book in your hands, enjoy this inspirational video:
This offer is valid though November 5, 2010 at 5:00 PM EST, while supplies last. No requests will be accepted after this time. Limited to one free bookplate per customer. Void wherever prohibited or restricted by law. Signed book plates are not available for purchase, but their estimated value is approximately $0.01.
She’s baaaack!
Apparently Rosie O’Donnell, of whom I’m a big fan, is coming back to daytime TV. She’s reportedly on board to host a talk show on Oprah’s new television network, OWN. I was pulling for her to fill one of the vacant American Idol judging spots, but instead it looks like she’ll be pitted against Ellen for the title of reigning daytime talk show queen (once her new boss Oprah hangs up her crown, of course).
In honor of Rosie’s re-emergence on the scene, I’ve put together a list of former talk show hosts I’d like to see join her in come-back land:
Arsenio Hall: The Obama of late night TV, Hall broke the color barrier back in 1989, employing a more laid-back formula that kept him on the air for five years. The show had its ups and downs, critically and ratings-wise, but it certainly broke the mold and offered something new to the staid late night talk show landscape. I recently caught Arsenio on Chelsea Lately, and to be honest, he’s pretty damn funny. What is more shocking is that the the 54 year-old comedian looked about 32. I think this dude’s been living in a cryogenic chamber for the past 15 years. Even if he doesn’t get a new talk show, he’s a prime candidate for those DirecTV ads. They wouldn’t even need to use CGI.
Chevy Chase: Okay, so the original Chevy Chase show didn’t work so well. Turns out that reading deadpan fake news lines into a camera requires a different skill set from interacting with other human beings one-on-one in an engaging way. That being said, the Chevy Chase of 1993 seems like a different animal from the one today. The slightly more robust, mellowed, almost avuncular Chevy–who’s carving out a bit of a comeback with solid work on the sitcom Community–would be a more welcome presence in America’s late night living rooms. He kind of has that Al Gore thing going on–a few extra pounds, a little less hair, and a dose of humility can go a long way.
Roseanne Barr: If the networks want to fight fire with fire, Roseanne is the way to go. Rosie certainly turns her filter off from time to time, but Roseanne will speak the truth (or her truth) without exception. Sure she was somewhat of an uncontrollable mess on her short-lived daytime gig, but that’s nothing that today’s Snookie-obsessed, RHWONJ-watching public can’t handle (as long as the producers don’t decide to start each show with the Star Spangled Banner).
Susan Lucci to Pen Autobiography
New York, NY (July 28, 2010) – It Books, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, announced today that it will publish television legend Susan Lucci’s autobiography in 2011. As the most famous face in daytime television history, Lucci has held audiences spellbound for years as the sexy, sassy, beautiful “woman you love to hate,” Erica Kane on ABC-TV’s All My Children.
The book was acquired by Lisa Sharkey, Senior Vice President and Director of Creative Development for HarperCollins from Mel Berger of William Morris Endeavor. Vice President and Executive Editor, Hope Innelli will edit the book.
In her autobiography Lucci will recount her forty year-long career on All My Children, playing the beautiful and controversial character. As Erica Kane, Lucci has experienced many intense moments on screen: married many times on air, was one of daytime’s first working mothers, and has dealt with many of life’s greatest tragedies. In addition to providing readers with an exciting and satisfying behind the scenes look at her career, Lucci will devote much of the book to her personal life off-camera. Lucci will reveal information on her devastating car accident, her miscarriage, and the joy that came with finally winning an Emmy in 1999 after eighteen previous nominations. She recounts her experiences on Broadway, performing to sold-out audiences across the country as a cabaret, nightclub performer, and as a celebrity dancer on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars. Named one of Barbara Walters’ “Ten Most Fascinating People,” Lucci will give readers an intimate look into her life as a daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, philanthropist, entrepreneur and iconic actress.
“I am so excited to share my life experiences with my fans,” Susan Lucci said. “It Books gave me the extraordinary opportunity to tell my story.”
About It Books: Launched in September 2009, It Books is dedicated to publishing exceptional books in entertainment, music, fashion, design, art, celebrity, pop culture and sports. It Books has published numerous New York Times, Wall Street Journal and Los Angeles Times bestsellers including Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern, Getting the Pretty Back by Molly Ringwald, Neon Angel: A Memoir of a Runaway by Cherie Currie, I Love Your Style by Amanda Brooks, and Satiristas by Paul Provenza and Dan Dion. Upcoming publications include Blow by Blow by Detmar Blow with Tom Skyes, The Red Hot Chili Peppers by The Red Hot Chili Peppers, How to Beat Up Anybody by Judah Friedlander, True Whit by Whitney Port, Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead by Neil Strauss and Al Jaffee’s Mad Life by Mary Lou Weisman. It Books is an imprint HarperCollinsPublishers, one of the largest English-language publishers in the world and a subsidiary of News Corporation (NYSE: NWS, NWS.A; ASX: NWS, NWSLV). It Books can be found online at www.YourItList.com, www.Facebook.com/YourItList, www.Twitter.com/YourItList and www.Twitter.com/ItBooks.
PR Contacts:
Alberto G. Rojas, Senior Director of Publicity, 212-207-7891; alberto.rojas@harpercollins.com
Joseph Papa, Associate Publicist, 212-207-7326; joseph.papa@harpercollins.com
Never Trust a Pretty Girl With an Ugly Secret
Watch Pretty Little Liars Tuesdays at 8 p.m.
week. And it’s the go-to-station for a sappy, teen drama. So it was no wonder when one evening I was in the mood for outrageous plotlines that I decided to check out ABCFamily’s new show, Pretty Little Liars.
The show’s slogan, “Never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret,” had been pounded into my head every time I had watched the channel recently, so I thought I’d see what the hype was about.
Pretty Little Liars tells the stories of four 16-year-old girls living in the perfect town. But not everything is as perfect as it seems. These four girls also happen to have a plethora of dark secrets, including what happened the night their friend Alison disappeared one year ago. Now her body has been found, but the girls have started receiving text messages from “A” threatening to reveal secrets – secrets only Alison would know.
They have ugly secrets and great hair.
And for a show that pulled out almost every sappy, teen drama trick in the books in the first episodes and centers around four 16-year-old girls (who by the way have great hair), I remained intrigued the whole time. The girls faced a myriad of dilemmas including (but not limited to) parental issues, drugs, shoplifting, arson, confronting their sexuality, murder and being attracted to a teacher.
Is Pretty Little Liars outrageous? Yes. But it totally works, for several reasons.
Most everyone can relate to at least one of the main characters. There’s Aria, a former outsider, Spencer, who struggles with being a perfectionist and pleasing her parents, Hanna, who struggles to stay thin, and Emily, an athlete. The actresses who play these characters are pretty decent actors and the girls come off as fairly smart (besides the whole keeping secrets thing), funny and pretty (They even read! Did anyone else see that To Kill a Mockingbird appears in the first few episodes?). All of the cliché, teenaged, television dilemmas didn’t seem as cheesy as they might in a different show because the girls’ situations seem important to the overall plotline.
And most importantly, I was left wanting to know more. Who killed Allison? Is she still alive? Who’s “A?” How can I have great hair too?
However, I just hope no one gets pregnant. That might be too much.
The stories behind Mad Men revealed
The wait is finally almost over… the new season of Mad Men premieres July 25th on AMC. It’s about time. The recently released Season 4 poster has been getting a ton of attention including this in-depth examination and search for hidden meaning from TV Guide.
But to find out the real meaning behind the hit show you’ll need to read Mad Men Unbuttoned: A Romp Through 1960s America by Natasha Vargas-Cooper, the woman behind the highly popular blog The Footnotes of Mad Men.
In the book, Vargas-Cooper turns her eye to everything from Lucky Strike to Madienform, gray flannel suits to Burt Cooper’s Japonism, Grace Kelly to John Cheever — and examines iconic morsels from the show and the error. Very Short List agrees, Mad Men Unbuttoned is like a little time machine that takes us, as Mr. Draper so elegantly put it, ‘to a place where we ache to go again.’”
Still need more Mad Men in your life and on your computer screen? You can download two Mad Men wallpaper designs for your computer: What’s in Don Draper’s Desk and What’s in Joan Holloway’s Purse.
Buy the book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders or Books-a-Million.
I’m Lost Without You
Lost ended almost two months ago, and I’ve been fine until now. Though sad the show was over after six seasons, I was able to go about my usual TV business of catching reruns of Friends and That 70’s Show. But when I started sitting in front of the TV at 9 pm the past two Tuesdays in a row, wondering why the food at the grocery store didn’t have Dharma labels on it and noticing the numbers “4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42” popping up in day-to-day life, I realized this whole time I’ve been searching for something more. I came to the conclusion I need Lost in my life. Here’s a list of shows that I think will help me get my Lost fix.Fringe
Season 3 airs this Fall on FOX
In this sci-fi drama, Special Agent Olivia Dunham, institutionalized “fringe” scientist Walter Bishop and his son Peter from the FBI’s Fringe Division explore “The Pattern” – the unexplained phenomena and terrifying occurrences linked throughout the world.
Like LOST, Fringe’s producer is J.J. Abrams, and the show has character-centric plotlines and mystery. However, Fringe is being touted as the uncomplicated sibling of Lost:
“Lost has garnered a certain reputation for being a very complicated show and one that you have to watch every episode,” Abrams said in an interview. “Fringe is in many ways an experiment for us, which is, we believe it is possible to do a show that does have an overall story and end game, which Fringe absolutely does.”
From the producer of Lost but will answer all my questions? Sounds like a winner to me.
V
Season 2 airs this Fall on ABC
In V, a technologically advanced alien species comes to earth claiming peace. The Visitors want only a small amount of Earth’s resources in exchange for sharing their advanced technological and medical resources. However, the Visitors are not as peaceful as they seem. FBI agent Erica Evans (played by Elizabeth Mitchell, Juliet from Lost) finds out the Visitors are actually here to take over Earth and she along with the Resistance try to stop them.
I did catch a few episodes of this show when it came on immediately after Lost last season. An interesting show, but I felt like I didn’t have another hour in the week to invest in a new show that has aliens and other unexplained occurrences (remember the smoke monster?), just like Lost. However, now that I have an hour to fill, V seems promising, especially since Juliet…err…Elizabeth Mitchell is a main character.
Hawaii Five-0 remake
Season 1 airs this Fall on CBS
Set to air in the fall, the Hawaii Five-0 remake seems like fun. As an update of the classic cop drama, Jin, actor Daniel Dae Kim from Lost, plays Detective Chin Ho Kelly. And, like Lost, filming will be done in Hawaii. According to a recent press release, the show “will explore the origins of the Five-0 team and build on an already rich mythology.” To that I say, “Book’em Danno!”
FlashForward
Honorable Mention
A mysterious event causes almost everyone on Earth to lose consciousness for 137 seconds. During this time, everyone sees visions of their lives six months in the future – a global “flashforward.” The characters struggle with unexpected or surprising revelations in their flashforwards.
FlashForward gets Honorable Mention because ABC cancelled the show after only one season; the good news is that there are 22 episodes to watch online. That should keep me occupied for awhile.
Also, FlashForward has Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) and Penny (Sonya Walger) from Lost. I never felt that I saw enough of Charlie in Lost and who doesn’t love Penny?
Paul Provenza: Satirista and Green Room-er
You probably know Paul Provenza from his impressive stand-up career or as the co-creator of the (dirty, dirty, dirty) documentary, The Aristocrats. We know him as a great guy and the talented co-author (with photographer Dan Dion) of a new book, Satiristas: Comedians, Contrarians, Raconteurs & Vulgarians.
The multi-talented Mr. Provenza is adding yet another line to his resume: television host. The Green Room with Paul Provenza offers comedy fans the chance to see the world’s greatest comedians in a roundtable setting, speaking off-the-cuff and uncensored in front of a studio audience. No rules, no agenda, no censors…just some of the funniest people around, riffing on and ripping each other apart.
If that sounds like your kind of fun, catch the series premier on Thursday, June 10th at 10:30 PM (Eastern/Pacific) on Showtime.
We’d watch it!
Our beautiful and talented author, Rosa Blasi (Jock Itch–Winter 2011), is trying to get her very own talk show on Oprah’s new network. Rosa’s book is all about her early years as a serial jersey chaser–think Confessions of a Video Vixen for the SportsCenter set. She’s absolutely hilarious in a “witty, hot girl with a dirty mouth” type of way. If you like Chelsea Handler, you’ll love Rosa.
So head on over to Oprah’s website and watch the audition video and vote. Once Rosa’s winning smile is lighting up your television every day, you’ll be glad you did.
Hallelujah, amen
American Idol front-runner Lee DeWyze had tween girls in the palm of his hand last night with his emotional cover of the Leonard Cohen classic, Hallelujah. The haunting tune was Simon Cowell’s “judges pick” for DeWyze (who will be picking next year’s songs?), and it felt like one of those game-changing performances. Maybe it’s a bit early to call this one, but the dark horse DeWyze seems to be peaking at just the right time.
In honor of the reluctant heartthrob’s epic performance, we give you the best Hallelujah renditions of all time. Not an easy task, given the hordes of amazing artists who have taken a stab at it.
Tackling Hallelujah isn’t for the faint of heart, but K.D. Lang has the chops. Her legendary vocal range gives her the tools to really blow this one out:
Days after the tragic Haiti earthquake, pop star Justin Timberlake teamed with singer-songwriter Matt Morris to perform a soulful interpretation on the Hope for Haiti telethon:
Unsurprisingly, Cohen himself does a damn fine rendition of his most-covered creation:
Then there’s the version that first brought my attention to one of my favorite songs, the late Jeff Buckley’s energetic, operatic cover from his landmark album Grace. Still my nostalgic favorite:
And now we add (soon-to-be American Idol?) Lee DeWyze’s heartfelt performance:
Big shoes (and head) to fill
Ever since Simon Cowell announced his intention to put his American Idol days behind him after this season, there’s been endless speculation about his replacement.
The Daily Beast recently ran a slideshow handicapping the favorites–from Elton John (4:1) to the oft-mentioned Howard Stern (Million: 1). Based on the photo alone (above), I’m pulling for record producer Rick Rubin (70:1).
While the Daily Beast’s lineup was impressive, I’d love to see any of the following in the running as well.
Randy Newman: Sure Idol is more about singing and performing than the nuance of great songwriting, so Newman–an expert at the latter–may seem like a strange choice. Would contestants really want to take singing advice from a guy whose vocal stylings are more Dylan than Houston? But hear me out: this guy is a music business legend, respected as much by his peers as his fans. Even without the gift of golden pipes, he connects with audiences through expert phrasing and emotional depth. Plus, he’s an insightful satirist who could keep the mood on the judging panel light. With Simon and Paula both gone, Ellen’s going to have to shoulder a heavy load to keep the humor level up. Added bonus for the AI producers: Thanks to his hit songs from blockbuster kids movies like Toy Story and The Princess and the Frog, Newman will hit that ‘tween sweet spot that Idol craves.
Rosie O’Donnell: If you’re gonna go gay, go all the way. With lesbian rumors running rampant regarding 
that other, less important judicial vacancy (you know, Elena Kagan for SCOTUS), producers should let their progressive flag fly by doubling the number of lesbian judges on the Idol bench. Based on Rosie’s tumultuous stint on The View, she’d be a perfect rabble-rousing replacement for Simon. She’s one of the few celebrities who could match Mr. Cowell’s wit, honesty and brashness.
Gene Simmons: Let’s face it, despite the judges’ constant “it’s all about the singing” rhetoric, Idol is above all else, a spectacle. If it were a pure signing competition, they could broadcast the show on the radio and cut out the hours of ridiculous tone deaf whackos that populate the first month of the season. Who knows the point where spectacle meets musicality better than the KISS axe man? Word of warning to producers: keep a close eye on Gene backstage. If you think Paula’s “sex scandal” was bad, wait until The Demon gets his hands on next year’s crop of nubile contestants.
Whitney Port + Elle Magazine = Ru La La
Fans of MTV’s The City know that in last week’s episode, Elle magazine recommended Whitney Port’s clothing line, Whitney Eve, for a special collaboration with designer discount site, Ru La La. Well, in an impressive display of TV/mag/online synergy, that promotion, billed the Elle Modern Designers Boutique, went on sale today (May 12th) at 11am EST.
The sale pairs items from the clothing lines of upcoming designers Whitney Port and Brian Reyes, all hand-selected by Elle editors.
Just 10 minutes after the sale opening, this Whitney Eve cream cut-out dress for $79 sold out:
Her colorful vest + shorts combo for $178 is still available, but might be too LA for us New Yorkers (i.e. COLORS):
Brian Reyes has some fun, ruffled pieces in his sale, including this gorgeous Parchment Silk skirt for $299:
And this classic little black dress with asymmetrical ruffles and back cut-out for $299:
To see the rest of the pieces, log in toRuLaLa.com. And to learn more about Whitney Port’s style, stay tuned for her upcoming book, TRUE WHIT, coming out February 2011 from It Books. Can’t wait!
“Get Your Gleek On”: Which Bands Should The Cast Of ‘Glee’ Cover Next?
I don’t know about you, but I was left speechless after last week’s episode of Glee. Partially, it was because stupid American Idol had cut off the last 10 minutes on my DVR but it was mostly because their homage to Madonna was completely off the chain, off the hook and off whatever-metal-object-you-can-imagine. According to Entertainment Weekly, the show already has a Lady Gaga-inspired episode in the can and there’s talk of taking on Britney Spears sometime soon.
With all these creative odes bursting off the small screen, I got to thinking. What if I was the music supervisor for Glee. Who would I have the cast tackle next? After a lot of playlist-scouring and soul-searching, I came up with the following picks: Bob Dylan, Death Cab For Cutie and Hole. I sure hope Sue Sylvester would approve!
BOB DYLAN: What Bob Dylan lacks in vocal dexterity (or coherence), he certainly makes up for in lyrical brilliance. After all, not only has the “Tambourine Man” penned some of most poignant songs of the 20th century, but he was even awarded a Pulitzer Prize in 2008 for creating “lyrical compositions of extraordinary poetic power.” A ’60s-inspired episode would be aces and I’d love to see Glee get all folky on our collective asses. Why, I can even hear Mr. Schuester serenading Ms. Pillbury with the classic crooner “Lay Lady Lay” before the firs time they do it™. Swoon.
DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE: Sure, Death Cab For Cutie‘s songbook might lack the pomp and circumstance of Bob Dylan, but their catalog remains equally poignant because I can’t think of another band in the last 10 years who has successfully tapped into heartbreak and heartache quite like this group of indie-rockers. Last summer, I actually had the great pleasure of seeing DCFC perform at the Hollywood Bowl with the L.A. Philharmonic orchestra. It was so rad to hear them get the classical treatment and I can only imagine what their songs would sound like if they were put in the Glee blender. Personally, I think Mercedes could wail on “The Sound Of Settling” or “A Lack Of Color” could be turned into a tortuous duet between Finn and Rachel.
HOLE: This pick is definitely my dark horse—much like Courtney Love, herself. Some might think Hole is a totally o-v-e-r, but with the recent release of their long-awaited album Nobody’s Daughter, they’re just getting started… at least until they inevitably call it quits again in another year or two. The lineup might be different but the band’s goal remains the same: to pen rocktastic anthems that inspire and empower. Judging from new songs like “Samantha” and “Skinny Little Bitch,” I’d say mission accomplished. After Quinn finally pops out the bun in her oven, it’d be great to see her re-embrace her inner awesomeness with a rendition of “Miss World” or “Celebrity Skin.” Now that’s a study in demonology I’d love to see!
Wanna read more of my musings? Hoof it over to http://www.leslie-simon.com. Plus, if you’re not following me (@redpatterndress) on Twitter, what are you waiting for? I’m not scared to sic C. Love on your tush… and I don’t know if you’d live through that.
In my opinionation
I’ve only seen about 10 minutes total of the CBS sitcom The Big Bang Theory. Come to think of it, I’ve probably only watched 10 minutes total of CBS in the past 3 years, period. TBBT seems like a perfectly serviceable network comedy, and I don’t have anything against it, I’m just too busy watching Sober House reruns to commit to a new show. I like my comedy raw.
That will all change come May 24, when Mayim Bialik–yes THE Mayim Bialik–will make her debut as the love interest to some guy named Sheldon. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with Ms. Bialek’s work, here’s a short rundown:
- Miyam Bialik was the floppy hat-wearing title character on the era-defining 1990s sitcom Blossom (of Joey Lawrence and neck tie skirt fame [curse you internet! No images of Blossom's iconic skirt?]).
- After the show went off the air, she attended UCLA where she eventually earned a PhD in Neuroscience.
- Although she’s acted sporadically since ending her run as Blossom Russo, her oeuvre escaped my attention until her hilarious turn as Kirstie Alley’s cantankerous neighbor on Fat Actress. Her self-deprecating closing dance number is a must see for all Blossom superfans.
- In 2009, in another nod to good sportsmanship, Miyam appeared on an episode of TLC’s What Not to Wear.
Clearly, this real-life scientist should be a perfect addition to a show that centers on the exploits of a group of hapless geeks. Let’s hope a permanent role is in the works–until then, there’s always Blossom DVDs to hold us over.
Watch Fat Actress – Episode 3 – Holy Lesbo Batman in Comedy | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
Give it to me in stones!
“Fat Actress” devotee Pam Cesarec shares her thoughts on Kirstie Alley’s latest show, debuting Sunday, March 21, 10/9 Central on A&E.
For the other ten people in the universe who continue to hold out hope that Showtime (or any network really) will pick up “Fat Actress” for a second season—well, it’s been five years. Suppose we should give up on that pipe dream, BUT there is a new Kirstie Alley show that also centers on her weight and it premieres this Sunday on A&E.
“Kirstie Alley’s Big Life” is a reality show that, unfortunately, feels a little too contrived. I’m speaking as a big Alley fan, but as a bigger “My Life on the D-list” fan, I gotta say these first two eps of “Big Life” can’t begin to compare to Kathy Griffin’s hilarious (and oftentimes surprisingly heartfelt) Emmy-winning show. In terms of how “real” reality shows are, c’mon, it’s 2010–by now most of us know that most reality shows are manipulated, but we get sucked in nonetheless, right? Alley’s voiceovers seem too rehearsed and sometimes when she’s interacting with the people in her life, it feels very scripted. But Instead of dwelling on the boring stuff– like how much weight Alley hopes to lose (80 lbs) or how she seems to have a genuinely nice and real relationship with her grown kids, let’s talk about the fun stuff. Like how whack this chick is. Her house is like a zoo, complete with a lemur cage the size of my first flat, filled to the brim with wild animals. (P.S. she sits in the cage holding the lemurs like a person would hold a human infant.) In other news, she’s got a brand new assistant, Kyle, who’s known for his two day-long siestas (his word, not mine), and is probably the most entertaining supporting character thus far.
For those of you who watched “Fat Actress,” take note of the miniature doors in Kirstie’s house (I like to think it’s a reference to the episode “The Koi Effect” guest starring a perfectly-cast Wallace Shawn and Leah Remini) and the baby voices she uses with her pet lemurs—reminiscent of the way she spoke as an honorary little person hanging out in a plastic children’s house with a group of dwarfs (also in that episode). Timeless stuff! Overall, I still think Kirstie is wildly amusing and I’m happy to report that “Big Life” vastly improved between episodes one and two, so I think it’s got potential. I’d stick it out and see what kind of batty stuff she pulls this season. I’m definitely crossing my fingers for some wacky Scientology plotlines—- and maybe even a Rachael Harris cameo!
Photos courtesy of A&E. Credit: Brian Doben (Kirstie Alley) and Richard Knapp (Cast)
YIL Preview: The Sarah Silverman Program: Season 3
Our resident expert on potty-mouthed TV heroines, Pam Cesarec, is back with her thoughts on the upcoming season of The Sarah Silverman Program.
The new season of The Sarah Silverman Program starts in a mere two days. Finally! It’s safe to say that with the year-long hiatus, these ten episodes have been carefully planned out and should be pretty filthily awe-inspiring.
I’ve seen the first two episodes and I got pretty excited as soon as I realized the theme for episode one–appropriately titled “The Proof is in the Penis“–was a topic near and dear to my … funny bone (heart hardly seems appropriate in this case). And I got a little scared. Ok, a lot scared. Uh, it centers around the idea that Sarah was born with both. Yes, both. Parts. Man and lady. So if the thought of a 30-something woman accidentally swallowing her own tiny baby penis (which was removed at birth and she recently found in a zip-lock hospital bag) is offensive to you in any way, you might not appreciate this show as much as yours truly did–which was immensely. Sarah Silverman is exceptionally audacious, which probably puts the fear of god into the person who’s in charge of censoring her work. My mouth was agape in shock throughout most of the thirty-minute episode. And let’s put it this way: I’m not easily shocked. I loved every second of it. Oh man. Nine more episodes of this? Sign me up.
The second episode was amusing, but nothing can top a hermaphroditic premiere. In episode 2, Sarah hosts a children’s TV program. If the prospect of that is so frightening it makes you a little nauseous just wondering what that could possibly entail, we are on the same page.
For those of you who have missed the first two seasons, here’s an abbreviated recap: Sarah (the character, not the actor) has pretended to have AIDs, donned black face, been arrested for licking her dog’s anus in a park, talked dirty to her sister, pooped her pants during a farting match, and tried to sue the entire nation of Mongolia. What a gem!
Anyway, back to season three. There’s an upcoming episode titled “Wowschwitz.” Come on, who else could get away with that? Exactly. Looks like Comedy Central promises to be an unpredictably intriguing place to spend your Thursday nights!
For those curious what a musical interlude about baby penises might look like:
| The Sarah Silverman Program | ||||
| Preview – The Baby Penis in Your Mind | ||||
|
||||
The Sarah Silverman Program Season Three premiers Thursday, February 4th, 10:30 PM (Eastern)
Get Your Own “Mad” Style
Long to emulate the classy vintage style of the ladies of Mad Men but unsure how? Janie Bryant, the costume designer for the show, wants to help you. Along with fashion journalist Monica Corocan, Bryant has written a new style advice book to help fans learn “how to tap into their inner ‘leading lady’”.
According to EW.com, the book will explore vintage couture, including that of screen icons from Clara Bow to Brigitte Bardot. But fear not! The purpose of the guide will not be to turn you into a costume character. Rather, the goal will be to teach you how to incorporate elements from your favorite decade into modern dress. The as-yet untitled book will land in bookstores this fall from Grand Central.
The only decision you have to make now is: are you a Betty, a Peggy, or a Joanie?
Betty
Peggy
Joanie
We’re With Coco!
Apparently there’s some pivotal event happening today that could shape our country’s future for decades to come. Something having to do with the employment status of some guy from Massachusetts. The country is certainly divided, and the stakes are high.
That’s right, Conan O’Brien is reportedly set to take a big chunk of change and vacate his slot as the Tonight Show host, allowing Jay Leno to resume hosting duties. It looks like it may be too late to change this outcome, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t showing their love for the Pale Force.
I’m With Coco, the brainchild of artist Mike Mitchell, is still going strong with almost 400,000 Facebook fans and Conan rallies across the country (grab the inspiring poster art here and show your solidarity on your Facebook profile). This weekend, hundreds of Los Angelenos crowded the NBC lot in the rain for an I’m With Coco event (a stunning achievement, considering their aversion to inclement weather). Coco himself made an appearance, running through the streets leading his band of merry revelers, giving a rooftop speech reminiscent of Eva Peron, and even ordering free pizza for his loyal subjects. You can read a recap on the Tonight Show blog, and watch a video of the proceedings:
Then when you’ve dried your tears, revisit a a simpler time, 2004 to be exact, when Jay Leno knew that he’d be washed up by 2009 with this video from the Funny or Die archives.
Oh, and I guess there’s some Senate seat up for grabs today too. Not sure what that’s all about.
Sue Good to be True
Pam Cesarec, friend of YIL, and enemy of the capital letter, pays homage to the Season of Sue.
with the fall t.v. season coming to a close, viewers are left to pause, take stock, and reflect upon what we have to be thankful for from these past few months. the answer should come easily and can be summed up in a single name: sue.
2009 introduced us to two classy characters who share a first name: sue sylvester of the campy, but surprisingly good-natured “glee” and sue “rhymes with weenie” collini, of showtime’s surprisingly not so good-natured “californication.” played by golden globe nominee jane lynch and kathleen turner, respectively. these broads know how to deliver a line. (and i can’t, in good conscience, write this without an honorable mention. there’s a third sue– sue who’s always “so FRICKIN’ excited”. the baggy sweater-wearing super geek who can never contain herself when a surprise is a’brewin- played by the incomparable kristin wiig on SNL).
sue syl loves blackmailing, making ridiculously unseemly remarks to students and fellow faculty at her school, tucking the jacket of her adidas track suit into her pants, encouraging people to “cane” their children on the local news in order to toughen them up, and – on occasion – donning a zoot suit for some hardcore swing dancing.
collini has very different priorities- including, but not by any means limited to, having coke blown up her ass, throwing swinger parties in her sex toy-filled LA mansion, and engaging in incredibly aggressive and explicit sexual harassment at the workplace. she was neither afraid nor ashamed in the least to propose to her brand new employee charlie runkle that they “slip out of this business casual and see what kind of sodomy laws we can break.”
these sues are two classy ladies. i use the term “ladies” liberally here. very. at any rate, i’m relatively sure that the unflappable/wicked-cool jane lynch improvises a lot of her lines, but we gotta give kudos to the writers of “glee” for crafting her dialogue in such a fashion that she gets away with some remarkably whack stuff without getting banned by the censors. and if collini wasn’t on a pay channel, her character simply wouldn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of even existing. that is one filthy, filthy post-menopausal woman. just imagining her growling “rrrrrunkle” in her, ahem, sexy, ahem, baritone gives me goosebumps… in a profoundly creepy way. 
(one observation that i feel compelled to mention here: kathleen turner has the second-deepest human voice i’ve heard, next to yao defen, aka the world’s tallest woman [look her up!]. when i read on IMDB that turner was born in 1954 and did that quick math in my head, i had to do further research because i felt it simply couldn’t be. weeks after this discovery, i still find myself disturbed that she’s only 55 years old.)
bottom line: at first, i was not a bit excited to see kathleen turner join the cast of “californication” but, man, now i can’t get enough. and i have no doubt that sue sylvester will go down in t.v. history as one of the crudest, rudest, most clever villains we’ll ever have the pleasure of gasping at. all right, ladies and gents, i could write for days on this topic but i shall leave you with some random sue/sue quotes. do enjoy. and please remember during this holiday season– sue: it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
“that was the most offensive thing i’ve seen in 20 years of teaching— and that includes an elementary school production of ‘hair.’” -sue sylvester
“i used to run lines with margot kidder before she went ape shit.” -sue collini
(really this was the only amusing thing collini said all season that was clean enough to quote.)
cesarec… out!
