Flashback Wednesday is here and we’re jumping back in time to 1988. Shall we?

STOP WORKING OUT AND WATCH OTHERS WORK OUT. Now, I must admit that I’m not above watching workout shows. There’s something almost mystical about watching a random, early morning cable show where a lone woman is crushing her gluts in the sun. I love watching them while eating coco puffs. It’s the kind of self hatred that I can get behind.

But the Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship? This is a national competition with a sponsor and a celebrity host! (Not to get all Seinfeldian on you, but what the hell happened to Crystal Light? I remember drinking whole buckets of that crap, or should I call it by its real name, Tangy Cancer Water. Man, I miss it.)

This video clip is an oldie but a goodie. It is a time capsule of awesome. Watch and let’s discuss.

First of all, there’s a noticeable lack of ”grapevine” happening here. (For those not in the know about aerobics, grapevining is a staple move in any aerobics class.) I feel the absence to my core.

00:14 seconds - Synchronized clapping is a much under appreciated skill. Without it we cannot take aerobics as a sport seriously.
00:27 seconds – This song CLEARLY is a ripoff/homage to the dance contest song/scene in Girls Just Want to Have Fun, the classic 1985 film starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt. PS Girls Just Want to Have Fun is a better film than its fellow romcom Casablanca. Girls = daring and dance-y. Casablanca = boring and dialogue-y.
00:44 seconds- Alan Thicke’s hosting duties announced. Sob with happiness–for him and his family.
00:45 seconds- Wait, Alan Thicke, the actor and singer, is an honorary chairperson of the National Fitness Association? Really?  [Puzzle and mutter to yourself.]
01:08 seconds – Satanic chanting by contestants. [Join in.]
01:16 seconds – Crazy eyes! [Cheer!]
01:38 seconds – Reigning aerobic champions take the stage and begin rocking out–which consists of jogging in place.  Competition seems less fierce than originally hoped.
01:56 seconds - Contestants pose for individual mug shots straight to the camera.  Lots of pointing, winking, and muscle flexing. Fans are back on board! NOTE: Donna Davis (2:04 seconds) really lets us down with a lukewarm performance as a normal person.  Shame on you, Donna.
02:19 seconds – 2 synchronized humps, perfection!
02:42 seconds – High kicks!
02:47 seconds – Finger snaps! Wow, they’re really taking it to the next level, physically.
03:07 seconds- Check out the guy on the right’s smile. Someone please speed dial Crest Whitestrips, because they have found their new creepy, tumblr stalker.
03:19 seconds – 3 women dancing their hearts out. My favorite is the bulky girl on the left. She looks like she should play Rugby but instead is trying to fit in with the mean girls from high school. What a sacrifice! That’s what sports is all about.
03:25 seconds – Aerobics meets community theatre. Grease is the word.
04:42 seconds – Hands down favorite.  Slow groove right into by double-time run in place? GENIUS.
04:51 seconds – Who else thinks that Peter Dale’s jump is followed by an off-camera fall?
05:35 seconds – ALAN THICKE IS IN THE HIZZY! And yes, he is wearing a pink polo with a dove grey blazer.  Oh, and he declares that this competition is the Superbowl of aerobics. He nailed that comparison.
05:52 seconds- Way to ab lib, Alan. I didn’t even notice.
06:03 seconds- A stand up routine about the history of fitness by Dr Jason Seaver. I don’t want to give anything away but Dr Seaver can deliver a good pun.

And. We. Are. Done. I feel like I just ran a race and came in third from last. It’s quite the high.

Bonus track! Alan Thicke wears a windbreaker and gets sexy.

Henri, the existential cat. Because apparently all white cats are idiots and just beg for cheeseburgers.

Whether you like it or not, Hillary Clinton’s “cool” factor has totally shot up in the past few months. She drank and danced in Colombia. The Texts From Hillary Meme blew up. (Then, she thanked them for the “Lolz.”) She got introduced by Meryl Streep at the Women in the World Conference 2012. And now, she’s so hot right now that she had to reject Jason Segel’s proposal to share the big screen together. Although, she says, if she does eventually do it, Muppets must be involved. Non-negotiable.

“Are you playing the queen or the witch today?” In a fantastic piece in Interview magazine, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe interviews his co-star, the always fabulously eccentric Helena Bonham Carter.  Although it’s unclear on whether or not she wore matching shoes during the interview, she opens up and reveals “’F*ck it’ is my guiding philosophy.” She may just be my new hero.

Channeling her inner-Kanye (the rapper part, not the “Hold on, Imma Let you Finish” part), tennis star Serena Williams releases a clip of her rap skillz.

What Makes You Beautiful. The One Direction Parody. And the Harvard Baseball team jams out to “Call Me Maybe.”

Obama voiced his support of gay marriage this week. Politico rounded up their favorite tweets after the announcement.

My Heart WON’T go on. James Cameron announces that his film company will now solely focus on developing Avatar sequels. Say it ain’t so, JC! Somewhere on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, Jack Dawson is crying ice cold tears.

Lolz. The Pittsburgh Tribune accidentally tells their readers to…in less delicate terms, defecate themselves.

Books. Lies. And Rock&Roll. Okay, just kidding. No rock and roll, just books and lies. These New York Times Magazine editors reveal what books they lied about reading.

Nerd Love. Ever wondered why every in foreign language you pretended to learn in high school, words had genders? Slate delves into how the English language lost its genders.

Learn to be more photogenic. I know we all wish we could be as photogenic as Courtney Stodden, the 16-year-old teen bride to 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchison, but we just can’t. (Don’t put it on me, girl.) Lifehacker teaches us a simple trick to look better in photos.

Weekly stupid. Some people…are just idiotic.

Met Gala. Well, it happened on Monday. Now, I get that the Met Gala is supposed to be “Fashion’s Most Glamorous Night” –  a time for high fashion that I don’t always understand, but seriously. I think 80% of the celebrities were just a little off… I mean, what is THIS!?! Angie’s leg  v 2.0? And THIS? Also, I don’t care what anyone else says, Kristen Dunst looked like Santa Claus. And, someone, please for the love of God, give Vera Wang and Rachel Zoe a sandwich.

The trailer (otherwise known as 30 seconds of visual bliss) upon first viewing looks like a Saturday Night Live spoof but spoof it is not. Rob Lowe earnestly performed the best line of dialogue ever delivered on the small screen (watch the video below, if you don’t believe me).  His silver pompadour, fake moustache and use of a garage door opener was pure gravy. This is why we love Rob Lowe, the man doesn’t take himself too seriously.

So it’s delightful news to learn that Rob has signed on for another Lifetime original film.  Lowe is on-board to play the prosecutor, Jeff Ashton in “Imperfect Justice: Prosecuting Casey Anthony.” I don’t know how anything can compare with the nefarious Drew Peterson role–the dashing Jeff Ashton, of course, was never accused of murder and is a well liked lawyer (Ashton has 7,000+ “likes” on facebook, if you don’t believe me).  But a girl can dream, hope, and continue to watch
Note: The book, Imperfect Justice by Jeff Ashton, was published by William Morrow–a sister imprint of ours at HarperCollins.

Without giving away too much, so that I don’t ruin the movie for everyone, or for that matter, get shot as I walk out of the office, I will say that for me, this movie was even better than the first time I ever tried a pb&j sandwich. And let me tell you, that as a 4-year old, that was pretty life changing.

There’s a S#*! load of explosions, knuckle-busting, smashing, pummeling, and aliens…oh so many aliens. And the back and forth one-liners and banter, mostly baited by Tony Stark, with Captain America, Bruce Banner/The Hulk, Nick Fury, Thor, Black Widow, and Hawkeye, was hilarious. There are also moments of sweet sweet vindication against an egomaniac super-villain, Loki, Thor’s brother, who wants to take over the Earth. There is one part, you will know when, where you will probably annoyingly clap and whistle and clap and whistle some more, as I did.

Was I the only one, you ask? No, thankfully. I did however, as a result, get death stares from the friend that I picked out of ALL my friends to come with me, just like Charlie Bucket picked his grandpa Joe out of his mother and the rest of his bed-ridden grandparents to go to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.

So should you go watch it? Yes, go! Run if you have to. Not today, of course, but tomorrow. And let us know what you thought of it.

50 People You Wish You Knew in Real Life. [Via BuzzFeed] Yup, that guy on the left is on there. So hot right now.

The Mustachifer. Please buy this for all the babies you know. They will thank you later.

 Where’s Ken? Girl tries to look like a real-life Barbie doll and succeeds. Her waist looks to be approximately the same size as my foot width.

There’s a picture of Ke$ha in the dictionary under the word “classy.” And, it’s probably the photo that Ke$ha apparently tweeted of herself peeing in the street last Wednesday night, writing “pee pee on the street. PoPo come n get me if u can find meeee. I blame traffik.” Keep it klassy always, Ke$ha.

So Bad, It’s Good. If you were on the Rebecca Black train last year and/or the “Call Me Maybe” train this year, you will probably love this. “Justin Bieber’s Girlfriend” by Michaela Wallace (not to be confused with Justin Bieber’s “Boyfriend”). I may or may not have personally contributed at least 200 of the almost 3 million YouTube views. With lyrical gems like, “bass is pumpin’ with the rhythm of my own heartbeat,” what’s not to love about this spunky 14-year-old singing her heart out the Biebs?

“The Preezi of the United Steezy” Move over, Brian Williams. While appearing on an episode of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last Tuesday, President Barack Obama helped Fallon slow-jam the news.

Under the Sea. Amazing underwater photos from David Doubilet on the New York Times Lens Blog.

On Social Media: If you were really honest about your Pinterest boards. And what if Instagram were text-only? Check out the results on Twitter – with quips like, “Coincidentally autofocused raindrops” and “Condensation forms on a tasty beverage as folded sunglasses rest nearby.”

If Lifetime hasn’t already optioned the movie rights to the ESPN-Sarah Phillips-con artist story, then I’m not entirely sure if the sky is blue.  

Finally. Being 24 and awkward has it’s own rap song. [via Mashable] “Yeah, I’m not young, but I’m not that old.”

Too much cute. Toronto Zoo’s 2-month-old polar bear starts crawling.

Do yourself a favor and watch NBC’s Best Friends Forever. It’s amazing. Oh, and listen to Norah Jones’ new album Little Broken Hearts. It’s also amazing.

If you’re like me, you are a reluctant sports fan unless it’s tennis. (I believe all sports should be able to be watched live while eating sushi and drinking high-end vodka, hence my eternal love for the US Open, but I digress.)  So it was with great trepidation that I got suckered into watch a NBA playoff game.  But between me zoning out and eating a delicious, creamy white bean dip,  a revelation happened. Basketball is really enjoyable to watch if you stop focusing on the game and instead start noticing THE GOD AWFUL, RIDICULOUS, LAME TATTOOS the players are sporting. My eyes, they bleedth.

This dropped me down a rabbit’s hole of tattoo Google searches.  Sadly, basketball players, while notorious, are not alone with their terrible, celebrity ink. There several categories of awful. Let’s go on a journey together.

First up, THE MUSICIAN.We get it, you’re a rocker. That doesn’t mean you need to have cliche tattoos but it seems like a prerequisite. My suggestion: play music, don’t put a crucified Jesus on your back.  After much research, the winner, however, was clear…Fred Durst, front man for Nu Metal band Limp Bizkit. Somehow I don’t think Kurt Cobain and Elvis want to hang out together…on Fred’s chest.

Runner up, boy band friendly Nick Lachey. If Zack Morris had a tattoo, this capri sun surely would have been it.  

Next category, THE HOOCH. These tattoos are meant to be titillating and are usually located in coy places near the breast, back of the neck, ankle or the lower back (affectionately known as the tramp stamp). The competition was fierce but in a tight race…Mena Suvari wins! Oh, honey. Lions and words of wisdom do not belong on the nap of your neck. Obviously, Mena had a very profound trip to the zoo. Next time I suggest a long journal entry. 

Runner up, Eve with her paw prints. Part of me sort of likes the sexah-ness of the look but mostly it looks like she’s got some schmutz on her front parts and I want her to wash it off.

Next category, CELEBRITY CHEFS.  This one was a doozy–too many to choose a winner. It seemed too easy to select a food-themed tattoo (there’s a lot of pork/white meat references out there) but then I stumbled upon Hell’s Kitchen contestant Tommy Stevens’ forehead and the decision was made for me. Straight from the artist’s needle to your plate.

And the final category of awful, BASKETBALL STARS. There are no words and so, I leave you with pictures.

Little did I know that during the entire meal I was a rebel trampling on important restaurant etiquette. According to The Gentry Man: A Guide for the Civilized Male—the best of GentryMagazine, articles published between 1951-1957—my manners were no better than a cowhand who picks her teeth with a chicken bone and blows her nose on the table cloth. Yee-haw!

Here are a few of my favorite rules “for the polite diner” from The Gentry Man…

#2  “Don’t just drop into a restaurant and order a meal. Go to the restaurant of your choice and make all the arrangements with the proprietor or headwaiter a day or two in advance.”

#6  “Don’t brand yourself as a rank plebeian by seasoning your food before tasting it. Many a chef’s brain child has been smothered with condiments, when it should have been showered with compliments.”

#9 “Don’t demand music with our meals. Table conversation is the only suitable accompaniment of good food. Dinner dancing is an abomination and holds no place with the bon vivant.”

I’ve always loved books like this. They’re a hoot to read and make me nostalgic for those classier, more restrictive days of pocket squares and comfy girdles.

With a soaring music career right out of high school and a distinctive, gorgeous voice that sounded mature beyond her years, it is easy to forget that Amy’s success and death all happened before her 28^th birthday. But Amy’s legacy lives on. There’s a recently launched foundation in her honor and, of course, her music. While reading the book, I was compelled to listen to her albums and while it is hard to choose my favorite song–in Amy’s short life she wrote and sung with such skill and brutal honesty–there are some top contenders. RIP Amy and her famous beehive hairdo.

#5 - Valerie. Though not technically an Amy Winehouse song (it was written by Mark Ronson), it was her vocals that skyrocketed the song to fame.

#4 - Rehab. Perhaps her most famous song, its message is dark and, sadly, prophetic. It is a true pop song in the best sense–playful, catchy and a tad dangerous.

#3 - Love Is A Losing Game. A sultry torch song that thrills as it breaks your heart.

#2 – Tears Dry on Their Own. A brutally honest conversation about loving someone who doesn’t love you back. Reading about Amy’s relationship with Blake, you see how she wrote this song from experience.

#1 - You Know that I’m No Good. This. Song. Is. An. Anthem. Amy’s soulful 60′s musical style is imbedded in your head after one listen.

Dick Clark. I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. I have if you think about it. He was around every New Year’s Eve, rockin’ it in with good cheer. And while I’m a little young to have been an “American Bandstand” devotee, I’ve seen clips and there wasn’t a more dashing host. I should be too young to have been a fan of his game show “Pyramid” but in fact, I began watching it in utero and loved him ever since. That Clark was eternally young—before the world knew about chemical peels and Botox—made him a real life super hero. Eternal Teenage-Man!

Of course, his devastating stroke in 2004 didn’t stop him a bit. Sometimes hardship only illuminates how courageous a person really is. So, sadly I quote the man himself, “For now, Dick Clark…so long.”