The hosts, the ceremony, the presenters, the clothes … trite, trite, trite, trite. I’m never one to shy away from snark, so here goes:

Most of the dresses left me wondering if there was an open call for the Featherduster in the Broadway tour of Beauty and the Beast.

Zoe, you’re a lovely girl, but this dress.  We almost saw your goods as you were walking down the steps to present the award.

Zoe Saldana

Vera, I’d never heard of you until this year.  Congrats on being in a movie with Mr. Clooney.  You’re totally giving me Birth of Venus … I’m in shell-shock!

Vera Farmiga

Carey, I loved everything about you, even your 2004 dangly earrings.  Keep up the good work.  Also, who are you?

Carey Mullligan

Demi:  1) where was Ashton? 2) you look twenty-five 3) you look stunning! 4) You also sort of look the same color as your Versace dress.

one-tone

Cameron, I blacked out when you were presenting, or maybe you did … I’m not sure.  Either way your Oscar de la Renta dress was one of my favorites.

Cameron Diaz

Sandy B, I’m real proud of you.  I do think that your dress was dash too metallic.  You won an Oscar, but you don’t need to dress like one.

Sandra Bullock

Kate! Your YSL dress was possibly my favorite look of the evening.  I have no snark for you.

Kate Winslet

Not pictured, but should be: Jeff Bridges wife, Susan.  She was so lovely.  Who can still pull off turquoise?  SHE CAN!

OH!  I almost forgot, Zac, you are perfect.  You looked perfect. You make the world a better place.

Buy the book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders or an Independent Bookseller.

Click here to read a preview of the first two chapters.

About Neon Angel: A Memoir of a Runaway by Cherie Currie

Cherie Currie, with her signature Bowie haircut and fishnet stockings, was the groundbreaking lead singer of ’70s teenage all-girl rock band the Runaways. At the tender age of fifteen, she joined a group of talented girls—Joan Jett and Lita Ford on guitar, Jackie Fox on bass, and Sandy West on drums—who could play rock like no one else.

Arriving on the Los Angeles music scene in 1975, they catapulted from playing small clubs to selling out major stadiums, headlining shows with opening acts like the Ramones, Van Halen, Cheap Trick, and Blondie. Currie lit up the stage with the provocative teen-rebellion songs “Cherry Bomb,” “Queens of Noise,” and “Born to Be Bad,” riding a wave of hit songs and platinum albums, all while touring around the world.

On the face of it, Currie’s is a riveting story of girl empowerment and fame. But it is also an intensely personal account of her struggles with drugs, sexual abuse, and violence. She and her bandmates, runaways all, were thrown into a decadent, high-pressure music scene where on the road, unsupervised for months at a time, they had to grow up fast and experience things that no teenage girls should. Neon Angel exposes the side of the music industry fans never get to see, and chronicles the group’s rise to fame and their ultimate demise.

Shocking and inspiring, funny and touching, Neon Angel stunningly re-creates a bygone era of rock and roll, all the while providing an inside look at growing up hard under the relentless glare of the public eye, and chronicling one tough woman’s fight to reclaim her life.

About The Runaways

The Runaways is based on lead-singer Cherie Currie’s book ‘Neon Angel’ – a reflection of her experiences as a rock star, but also delivering a strong anti-drug warning to teens and others. David Bowie’s “Space Oddity” serves as a metaphor for the narrative– a slow countdown, a surreal but spectacular rise to fame, then alienation and burnout – a long long way from home.

The movie chronicles THE RUNAWAYS from 1975 – 1977; formed by teenage girls living near Hollywood, CA., and heavily manipulated by their manager Kim Fowley as ‘jailbait rock’ (all the girls were 16 or younger when the band recorded their first album). The band ultimately succeeds on their own merits as musicians, becoming the first all-girl rock-band to ever break into the world of arena-filling hard rock acts.

The movie focuses on the band’s formation, and their meteoric rise to fame. Their first single, ‘Cherry Bomb’, gets some attention in the United States, where THE RUNAWAYS’ U.S. tour hits major venues (Cobo Hall, with RUSH) and sleazy rock-clubs, often pairing them up with The Ramones, Cheap Trick, Tom Petty, and other popular 1970’s rock acts. But ‘Cherry Bomb’ and several other songs from THE RUNAWAYS’ first 2 albums become huge hits in Japan — and their arrival for a set of shows there in 1977 is like Beatle-Mania. The band is overwhelmed by the Japanese reception. Almost prophetic, THE RUNAWAYS’ last big hit song in Japan is ‘Neon Angels On The Road To Ruin’.

Cherie is initially thrilled to be in the band, and lives the rock star life. She pushes the edge — and their records sell well, generating lots of media controversy and hype. But during the tour of Japan, her personal life disintegrates, and she burns out — ultimately leaving The Runaways when they return to the U.S. The bass player (Jackie Fox) quits too, leaving only Lita Ford, Joan Jett and Sandy West. Joan Jett has decided that rock & roll is her life, and that The Runaways is her ‘family’; she is upset by Cherie’s decision to leave, but knows that decision is best — for Cherie.

THE RUNAWAYS’ success was earth-shaking in rock music — changing the rules forever. But with the successful 5-girl lineup no longer intact after the Japan tour, their future was dubious, at best. Lita Ford (guitar) and Sandy West (drums) still think the band can make it big again, so they persevere with Joan Jett.

We won’t spoil the whole piece for you, but here’s a fun tidbit from the entry on John Landis & Eddie Murphy:

We’ll let Landis explain this one: “The guy [Murphy] on Trading Places was young and full of energy and curious and funny and fresh and great. The guy on Coming to America was the pig of the world — the most unpleasant, arrogant, bullshit entourage … just an asshole.” Amazingly, they did actually work together again after that (on Cop III), but it’s safe to say it ain’t happening again.

Will Leitch, founding editor of Gawker’s sports blog, Deadspin, contributing editor at New York magazine, and author of the bitingly funny book-length sports manifesto God Save the Fan, has shed the trademark irreverence that famously drew the ire of Buzz Bissinger on Costas Now long enough to write a stirring and memorable tribute to legendary film critic Roger Ebert.

In his modestly titled essay, ”My Roger Ebert Story,” Leitch describes his lifelong admiration for Ebert, a fellow native of Illinois, alum of the University of Illinois, and editor at the school’s paper, The Daily Illini, and how their lives intersected several times during Leitch’s late teens years and early 20s. Surprisingly – or maybe not, for those who know him - Ebert kept up a lively correspondence with Leitch, encouraged his passion and talent, and went out of his way to help kickstart Leitch’s career as a writer.

The pinnacle of the story, and the low point in their relationship, comes when Leitch recalls penning an opinion piece called “I Am Sick Of Roger Ebert’s Fat F—-ing Face,” which he claims now was an immature attempt to establish himself, unfortunately by positioning himself in stark (read: disrespectful) opposition to the old guard.  One doubts that Leitch has ever harbored more regret than he does for writing that piece – and wonders whether this essay isn’t an overdue public atonement for it.

In spite of its passing reference to “humping Ebert’s leg,” Leitch’s tribute proves that he is a writer capable of far more than the scathing blog posts about sports figures and corporate media, which launched his career as a nationally recognized commentator. Though he’ll never grow up to be Roger Ebert the way he dreamt he might as a child, if he stays on course he just might become as valued and valuable a critic.

This year’s Oscar season seems a bit more tame than past years. What with the 35 nominated films for Best Picture (none, by the way, being (500) Days of Summer, ahem). There are a lot of familiar names on the nominees lists, not quite as many “Who?” nominees… a lot of people seem to think the winners will be the obvious choices.

I’m hoping for a return to the surprise a la 1966 when Richard Burton lost the best actor nod for Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf to Paul Scofield in A Man For All Seasons. Luckily Mrs. Burton won that year for Virginia Woolf, though rumoredly the couple abstained from attending due to Mr. Burton’s fear of losing (and worse his fear of losing and watching Mrs. Burton win). It was the first time either Burton ever abstained from anything.

The votes have been cast, somewhere a really boring looking accountant has them in a sealed briefcase. But let your voice be heard in the first annual Your It List Oscar Pool.

Click here to let us know who you think is going to win (don’t forget to leave your email address so we can contact you!).

On Monday, the person with the most correct answers will win a FULL BOX of movie flavored books, including:

Heads On and We Shoot
Avatar
My Word is My Bond
Pieces of My Heart
George Lucas’s Blockbusting
Showgirls, Teen Wolves, Astro Zombies
Tales from the Script
Some Like It Hot Companion
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
Shutter Island
Crazy Heart
Coraline
Making of Coraline

We’ll announce the winners on Monday!

Click here for complete rules.

How it works: Players receive their challenge (ex. haute couture, hip hop clothing, rock star fashion, newspaper dress, or school uniform), and design looks with pre-selected clothing items which they customize  by color, length, fabric, and accessories. And just like on the show, players design the makeup and hairstyle for their model, who struts down the runway rocking the look. And if you have the Wii Balance Board, you can even walk the runway along with your model!

The best part, per WWD.com,  is that after the runway show, ”pithy comments from judges Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn, Michael Kors and Nina Garcia emerge on the screen. (They might say, “Where was the glamour? Where was the vision?”) Designs are then scored with stars. At the end, in the parlance of Klum on the television show, the player is either “in” and continues with the game, or “out” and must try again with another game”.

If you think you have what it takes to face the judges, pick up the game for $39.99 at most mass retailers. But if you’d like to brush up on your fashion rules first, check out one of Nina Garcia’s three fabulous style books for an insiders guide to what’s hot and what’s not.

P.S. Little known fact: this movie is based on a book!

Alice star and Tim Burton’s wife, Helena Bonham Carter

The UK’s Michelle Obama: Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall

Singer Paloma Faith

Thursday’s New York Times features an eloquent love letter to Jeff Bridges, written by my favorite contemporary film reviewer, Manohla Dargis. Her rhapsodic prose makes me want to lock away my keyboard and retire from this whole wordsmithing gig, but, alas, I must put bread on the table.

Bridges has long been one of my favorite actors–an avuncular leading man whose characters would be a hell of a lot more fun to hang out with than any Clooney-portrayed slickster. And unlike most of his out-of-touch peers, you get the feeling the man himself would be a great guy to (political cliche notwithstanding) have a beer with.

Dargis’s piece did a fine job of capturing those very same qualities that make Bridges such a compelling actor, and her graceful words do him justice better than mine can. Yet in her short career retrospective, she left out my favorite Bridges’ performance: as children’s book writer/illustrator Ted Cole in 2004’s The Door in the Floor. The film–an adaptation of the first third of John Irving’s novel A Widow for One Year–didn’t make much of a splash commercially, and I only learned of it from my much better informed filmmaker friend Joel. But there’s something really special in Bridges’ character that has stayed with me more closely than his other fantastic roles.

In her piece, Dargis quotes the legendary film critic Pauline Kael as saying, “Jeff Bridges is enough to make a picture worth seeing.” This certainly holds true for The Door in the Floor. What could come off as a melodramatic (children have died, parents grieve, beaches are wind-strewn), mediocre film is elevated to must-see status by the complexity of Jeff Bridges’ performance. He’s a man employed to write books less than 100 words in length, yet he hires an aspiring writer as an assistant–ostensibly to type and retype his brief manuscripts, but in actuality to act as his chauffeur since he has a suspended license. He plays squash in a caftan in a converted barn. He’s a fucker and a fighter, but you get the feeling it’s only to conform to the stereotype of the aggressive, masculine artist pioneered by his Hamptons’ predecessor Jackson Pollock. In other words, this is The Dude, if only recreational bowling and pot smoking paid as well as writing blockbuster children’s literature. You get all of the nonchalance and unforced coolness of his classic Lebowski role, in a setting that’s much more relatable to your average viewer.

If you haven’t seen The Door in the Floor, and you’re looking to brush up on your Jeff Bridges’ oeuvre, add it to your Netflix queue for an excellent pre-Oscars primer. Then when he finally gets his long-deserved Academy Award on March 7th, you’ll have even more reason to cheer the Academy’s good sense.

Even better is that according to the NYTimes Style Magazine, the DVD contains: “90 minutes of extra footage, including a side-splitting cover-line meeting; Anna Wintour admonishing Olivier Theyskens, then at the helm of Nina Ricci, for rescheduling one of his shows (“You’ll never do that again,” Wintour proclaims); and plenty of gems from the film’s accidental breakout vedette, Grace Coddington.”

And the best news of all is that this Thursday, Feb. 25th, NYC-dwellers will get a chance to see meet some of the stars of the film! In a special discussion moderated by Vogue Contributing Editor William Norwich, director R.J. Cutler will be joined by Vogue’s Creative Director Grace Coddington and Vogue’s Editor-at-Large André Leon Talley at the Union Square Barnes & Noble in Manhattan (33 East 17th Street at Union Square) at 7pm. The event is free but you best get there early to get seats! The editors will be signing the special Barnes and Noble exclusive 3-disc DVD edition of The September Issue, which includes the never-before-seen “The Met Ball” mini-documentary.

If you can’t make it to the signing this Thursday (why not?) be sure to check out R.J. Cutler’s informative and entertaining Huffington Post blog, “What I Learned From Anna Wintour”, in which he shares valuable lessons gleaned from the fashion maven while filming the documentary.